General Fears of College Students

By Joanne Goldwater, Associate Dean for Retention & Student Success/Seahawk Family Liaison

Office of Student Success Services (OS3)

Does this sound familiar to you? During the summer, your student excitedly prepared to start their first semester at SMCM or they tell you that they can’t wait to come back to school. YAY! As move-in day approached, there was a little less enthusiasm, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on what you were observing. A few weeks into the semester, you now get a very different vibe from your student.

“I feel lost.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.”
“I think I’m failing”
“I’m scared.”

Hearing these words from your college student may cause you to have your own fears. We get it! What’s a parent/family member to do? We have some tips to share with you based on the article “Common College Freshmen Fears: How Parents Can Support Their Teens”.

1. Build up your student’s confidence.
   Sometimes students just need a quick reminder that they can do this. Express your confidence in your student. Remind them that they made it through high school and they were accepted at The National Public Honors College. That’s a pretty awesome accomplishment!
2. Remind your student to be brave.
   There is a first time for everything and it is okay to be a little fearful of the unknown. However, they took lots of big steps to get here and now, they are here. They can continue to be bold and brave (or least they can “fake it til’ they make it!”).
3. Help your student understand that feeling lost is normal and can actually be fun.
   Feeling a little lost is normal. Your student WILL become more familiar with the campus. Your student WILL figure out where and when to go to get help. Your student will learn how to understand a syllabus, how to write a lab report, how to answer problem sets, and how to study for quizzes and tests. It will take a little time, but they will get on the right track.
4. For parents/family members, remember that you are not alone in this journey!
   You, as parents and family members, have done a great job with your student! So many people have been in your shoes. There is no one perfect answer. Trust your gut and reach out to the Seahawk Family Liaison (me!) for assistance and support.
5. Try to help your student reframe their mindset.
   Maybe your student – gasp! – fails an assignment or quiz or misses a deadline or oversleeps and misses a class. Perhaps your student feels they cannot learn the material or do better in a class. We call that a fixed mindset. Instead, help your student develop a growth mindset. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone can learn from those mistakes. In OS3, we believe that FAIL stands for First Attempt In Learning. We believe that everyone has the capability to learn, improve, and grow if they are willing to put in the hard work.
6. Remind your student that they are good enough and they are ready for this new adventure.
   Your student is prepared for this great experience! They made it through the pandemic, through all of the ups and downs of high school, through the drama of relationships with significant others. Some of them learned how to drive, while others learned to manage chronic medical issues. They made it through the college application process. They are what we call, “emerging adults”. Your student belongs at SMCM!
7. Being on your own is not the same thing as being alone.
   Your student is living away from you and thinking and doing for themselves (when to go to bed, when to wake up, when to eat, how and when to do their laundry, when and where to study, should they go out with friends tonight or stay in and do some classwork, etc.). That doesn’t mean they are alone! They are meeting new friends, trying new clubs, making decisions for themselves, but they should know that you are always only a phone call/text/email message/drive away. They should also use the support systems we have on campus (a few are listed below).

If you student seems to be struggling more than you think they should, please encourage them to use some of the resources we have available on-campus:

• Meet with a staff member in the Office of Student Success Services (OS3, located in Glendening Hall room 230; 240-895-4388; os3@smcm.edu). We can help connect your student to available resources, offer advice/guidance, provide academic and success coaching.
• Schedule an appointment with a staff member in Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS, newly moved to Margaret Brent Hall, next door to the Campus Center; 240-895-2159). Sometimes, talking with one of our therapists can be very calming.
• Meet with their instructors during office hours if they are falling behind in classes due to feeling anxious, not understanding the material, etc.
• Request a free tutor by emailing tutoring@smcm.edu (your student should include the course code and section number, e.g. EDUC180-01, and the instructor’s name in the message).

Reference:

https://grownandflown.com/7-freshman-fears-moms-response/