[FULL ARTICLE FOR OS3 WEBSITE]

How We Think About Parents and Families at SMCM

By Joanne Goldwater, Associate Dean for Retention & Student Success/

Seahawk Family Liaison

At St. Mary’s College of Maryland—the National Public Honors College—we deeply value the partnership between families and the College. Parents and families play an essential role in helping students make the transition from home to campus life. We know how much you care about your student’s well-being and success. You’ve been there every step of the way—cheering them on, guiding their choices and helping them navigate challenges.

Just because your child is now a college student, your role doesn’t disappear—but it does change. Our job as educators is to help students take the lead in their own lives: to become independent thinkers, problem solvers and decision makers. Your job, as parents and families, is to shift from being in the driver’s seat to being a trusted co-pilot—still offering wisdom and encouragement, but letting your student steer.

We See Families as Partners, Not Pilots

We love that our SMCM parents care deeply. We also know that sometimes that care can turn into a bit too much control. Over the years, we’ve met every kind of family: helicopters who hover, lawnmowers who smooth every bump, snow plows who clear every obstacle, drones who monitor from afar and mama (and papa) bears ready to protect at the first sign of trouble.

We understand those instincts—they come from love. But college is the time for students to learn how to wake themselves up for class, solve their own roommate conflicts and speak directly with professors or staff when issues arise. When families step back a little, students step up a lot.

Our goal is to help your student develop confidence, resilience and the ability to handle life’s challenges independently. We don’t go to your student’s room to wake them up for class—and neither should you.

We Support Student Independence

At St. Mary’s College, students learn to think critically, act ethically and take responsibility for their choices. This growth takes time—and sometimes a few missteps. We encourage you to coach from the sidelines rather than take the field. Ask guiding questions like, “What’s your plan to handle that?” or “Who could you talk to on campus about this?” These small shifts empower students to problem-solve and build self-confidence.

Your trust allows us to do our best work: helping students make connections, find purpose and discover their own voice.

We Respect Student Privacy (and Encourage Communication)

We often hear from parents who want updates about grades, attendance or conduct. Under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), we cannot share a student’s educational records—including grades—without their written consent. While this may feel frustrating at first, FERPA helps students take ownership of their academic journey and learn accountability.

We encourage families to have open conversations with their student about how and when to share information. At the same time, as the Seahawk Family Liaison, I am always happy to discuss general policies, processes and campus resources. If you have a concern, I’ll listen, offer guidance and connect you to the right place—while still respecting your student’s privacy.

We’re in This Together

You are not being pushed out—you’re being invited to walk beside your student in a new way. According to Grace Seemiller, “Gen Zers’ top role models are their parents….” (Seemiller, Grace: Generation Z: A Century in the Making). Think of yourself as a co-pilot: you have valuable experience and perspective, but your student is learning to fly solo. With your encouragement and our support, they’ll develop the skills, confidence and independence they need for life beyond college.

At St. Mary’s College of Maryland, we take pride in fostering a community of care where families, faculty and staff all work together to help students succeed. Thank you for trusting us with your student’s journey. We’re honored to partner with you as they grow, learn and take flight as proud Seahawks.